I remember as a kid waking in the night with terrible leg cramps. Running to my parent's room for the comfort of my mom. She always knew how to make the pain go away. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't. As I would lay there allowing her to rub the calves of my legs she would whisper....."These are just growing pains. In order to grow there has to be a little pain every now and then." She was right! The leg cramps stopped. I grew!
The growing pains are different now. I'm much older and unfortunately my legs have done all the growing they are going to do. This pain is the pain of taking my eyes off the ministry that I have been given. The pain of getting my focus off. Carrying way more of a burden than I should. The pain of a much needed priority change. Needing to set aside those things that are keeping me from being the wife and mom that I should be. It's in the pain that we grow...right?
The past few years have taken a toll on our marriage. A year of multiple surgeries and health issues. House full of kids young and old... Bills...Life.This last week I came to a place where I really wanted to look at Satan in the face and punch his lights out. So I did....down on my knees! What I found....Our focus has been way off. So far off that we have just been living with an OK marriage and not the one God intended. I have allowed our friendship to take a back seat. As a wife I have allowed the stresses of life to consume the joy of loving the greatest gift of a husband that God created just for me. I have often heard the best gift you can give your kids is to love their dad. Really love him! Be his greatest fan! To LIVE 1 Corinthians 13 is my greatest desire. To love this man and really show him how important he is to me. Allowing the growing pains to heal this brokenness so that God will shine His brightest through us.
Surrounded by marriages that are falling apart all around me...becoming one of the statistics has gripped me with fear. I see how living in this world, the reality of it, can sneak up on you and suck you in....tearing the very years you have invested completely in two. Let's face it....we are consumed with things, stuff and business. Things that steal our time and joy. Distractions that turn our eyes from the ones we love the most.
I love this man of mine! He has endured more craziness than any man should have too. He lives in a house FULL of women (7). The estrogen runs rampant in our house! I really wish I could go back and regain all those wasted moments...but I can't. I can't live in the past but I sure can look to the future of loving the man whom I have shared a last name with for the last 28 years. I hope he not only knows but feels the deep abiding love that I have for him. I hope that through this deep pain from growing, the love I have for this man of mine will challenge our daughters to love their husbands.
Growing pains are a necessary road we must all walk. No one is immune. Whether it is in a marriage, friendship or just your very own personal self walk. It's in the brokenness and pain that God shines the brightest...and it starts by getting on your knees!
Yes, I punched his lights out! So thankful the light that should have been on in the first place is now burning bright! My growing pains aren't through. I still have a lot of learning to do...learning to be the best wife that my husband needs. Until my dying breath I will continue to allow these growing pains to mold me into the woman that God called me to be...that would be my husband's wife!
37 years of growing and learning to be a great big family!
