Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me!
I remember chanting these words as a child. Often as a response when a friend or sibling was hurt by someone's unthoughtfulness. But they do hurt! Those words. Often they catch you off guard during a moment when you least expect it.
Let's face it girls...Most of us will never have our prebaby bodies back! Never! The stretchmarks and the leftover baby bulge will forever be a part of the woman that you have become! The medal you wear...you have earned! So...wear it proud!
This 48 year old body has carried nine beautiful babies! I can honestly say I have cherished each 9 month journey that I took! In my head I am still that petite 100lb woman who chose to take this journey. My 5'3 frame of a body just hasn't got the message!
I have carefully tried not to ever compare myself to any photoshopped image on a page or screen. Mostly for my daughters...and for my own well being. However, Once you cross that compare line it's very difficult to reverse the damage that has been done. Walking this road will leave you frustrated and feeling defeated.
I do however think I have failed in the area of taking care of me. Thirty years of working on the inside but neglecting the outerpart. Exercise is very important...especially when you are a mom. Me...My time and energy is very limited. My energy reserves are very depleted. But that is all about to change!
Ladies....there is one rule you never break! NEVER NEVER NEVER ask a woman when they are due! Especially if you don't even know they are expecting! If you don't even know them personally! I have had this happen a few times ...some from perfect strangers. I have a very meek and mild personality. I usually laugh it off while dying on the inside. However, as this southern girl has aged that has all changed. Life has shown me that I don't have to always be quiet or polite when others fail at respect or common courtesy.
Today it happened again! My first response was...Excuse me? She said it again....the girl at the check out counter in the Christian bookstore. "When are you due?" As I stood there feeling embarrassed and very angry that someone that I didn't even know had just invaded my world. These words flew.
"I am not expecting"
"That was very rude"
"No 48 year old woman should be having a baby"
"I never thought I would leave crying from a Christian Book store"
all she could say was sorry...Is sorry enough?
Enough for the humiliation and embarrassment that I felt?
Enough for the tears that fell upon my face?
Enough for the way I allowed these words to tear at the woman that I am?
Enough for the way I allowed my insecurity to overwhelm and devour the woman that God says I am?
Me...I'm OK. I guess I should send her a thank you note for the motivation she gave me today. I can allow this to overwhelm me or I can take a good long look in the mirror and make some changes.
I think I'll take the changes....Changes for the good!
If you need me....I'll be that 48 year old pregnant looking lady walking the track!