Thursday, June 16, 2011

Abandoned 32 years ago....Father's Day

     Thirty-two years ago a thirty-three year old father of three made a choice. He chose to abandon his family and step out of his marriage, for what he thought was just one night of lies. That one night turned into an eternity of heartache...leaving his wife and daughters abandoned to pull the pieces of what he left behind back together.
     The last thirty-two years have been a challenge for my sisters and I. When left in the wake of a parent's choices, trying to figure out what a my case...Father really looks like, can be a difficult road. Please understand, I loved my daddy dearly. Before his accident I knew nothing of his life out side of our family. I thought I had a normal family. My mom did an excellent job at keeping all the junk from tearing apart what was left of our little family. As I have gotten older I see now what a mess it really was.
    I still have a lot of questions that fill my mind. I know sin can be a strong hold if you let it. I just don't understand why my father...and the other woman didn't think about the 3 little girls sitting at home with their mother. One who was waiting for her daddy to bring home canned icing for the cake she had baked. No pleasure is ever worth destroying your family over!
   My dad lost his life that night. Just a few short days after Father's day. The other woman...she survived. I have no idea how her life has been since the accident. I really don't care. Because of her choices...I lost my dad. He missed watching my sisters and I grow up. He never got to walk us down the aisle. He never got to meet his 15 grandchildren. He lost a life with a wonderful woman who loved him dearly.
   We all make choices. As a parent, those choices can affect our children for a very long time. I remember as a teenager watching other girls with their dads. Often thinking, if that was me...I wouldn't care what kind of person he was if he could just be alive. I wish he had gotten a second chance. Maybe you too have a dad who hasn't quite stepped up to the plate so to speak. Love him anyway! Forgive him.You may not have tomorrow! If you have lost your him anyway. Forgive, I have!  It's taken me a long time to find forgiveness for the two people who made very selfish choices . At times I still struggle...but I now have a real Father who helps me! He has shown me what a perfect Father looks like and every day with Him is Father's day!

Psalm 68:5...The perfect Father who never leaves us abandoned!


Bonnie said...

I knew you had a God story.
It's your joy that gives it away !!

Anonymous said...

You dont know me and i dont know you. I randomely came across your blog while looking for a freind of mines. However this post deeply moves me. When i was 6 my father left me, my mother, and 3 sisters. Heartbroken we moved on with life but threw eachothers strength we have all learned to live again. My mother has since passed on but i feel the need to tell you or one secret to life besides God: Sisterhood.

Good times come and go, and sister's will get you threw both. Petty arguments may seem to break relationships between sisters but you must rise above and love one another.

My sisters and i have gone years without talking, all of which i wish never occured because when we are there to lean on eachother we get threw the hardest of things.

My name is Eli. I'm 47. I have been married, twice. I've lost my oldest son in Iraq. I've battled breast cancer, and won. All of these things i do not think i would have been able to get through without the love and support of my sisters Mirah, Cidnee, and Colette. Our relationships are not perfect, we fight, we seriously anger eachother, but in the end God made us sisters for a reason.
Call your sisters up. Remind them you love them. Don't go forever without talking. Life is short. You need eachother.

Your Californian sister in christ.