Saturday, November 28, 2009

Heart Strings or Apron Strings?

My mother in-law use to tell me...When your children are young they pull on your apron strings but when they are old they pull on your heart strings.I never understood what that meant until now. I think I would rather have the apron strings if I could just remember that when they are driving me crazy!

Well today was the dreaded long awaited boy has left the building! For several weeks I have been relishing in every little moment. I knew this day was coming...why did it have to get here so quickly?

Moving day...a day Justin has waited for since he was least that is what he says. Two hours away...sitting in a two bedroom apartment is my baby boy all alone. A day he has anticipated for several weeks. The ride down began with a speeding ticket...not a way to begin your new life! I was doing ok until I walked into the apartment. At that moment I wanted to scoop him up and go home! Will I ever stop wanting to protect him? I don't think so! He's 24...6'3...275 lbs and I'm wanting to scoop him up?! As much as I want to support him in his dreams...this has been harder than sending him to Africa for 3 months. I have cried all afternoon and I have 8 more kids behind him... 2 of them ready to move out within the next 6 months. Surely this will get easier...surely I want fall apart every time they leave the nest...surely I won't need medication!

As mom I'm always questioning myself...Did I love him enough?....Did I teach him all the things he needs to survive? All I can do is trust that God has equipped him with all that he needs to walk this road of manhood.

As the face of our family changes over the next six months, there will be more moments of longing for the past but hoping for the future. Today the life of our little boy passed before my eyes...a lifetime of love for a young man who introduced me to this awesome road of motherhood at the age of 19. I am so proud to have walked this road with him...and will be forever grateful!

I love you Justin!

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