Has it been 30 years?

June 20,1979 will always be a day I will never forget...but a day I so deeply wish God would take from my memory.It was on this day James Arthur Melton was killed in an automobile accident. You see, this was my daddy and I was only 13 years old with two younger sisters...Kelly 10 and Kathy 5. A young family with high school sweet hearts for parents. Now our lives would never be the same!

We never know why God allows tragedy in a family. I wouldn't be who I am today if that fateful night hadn't happened. I know this...God took what evil meant to destroy and He made something good!

Here we are 30 years later...my mom remarried,I married a year after my mom and have 9 kids, Kelly a nurse... is married and has two boys, Kathy a teacher turned missionary... is married with two girls and two boys. What a legacy my dad has left on this earth...even though he lived such a short life.

Memories have faded over the years and photographs are all I have to remind me of a time that passed so quickly. What I didn't understand at 13.... I now see more of the hand of God on my life than I did 30 years ago. He knew it all and walked with me every step of the way and even carried me through the toughest times. That fateful day, God became a father to me in a more real way than I had ever known.

Today would have been my dad's birthday. He would have been 64...but my memory of him at 34 has him frozen in time. So much has been missed,but so much more has been gained. Oh how I hope I see him again one day. I'm not really sure of his relationship with the Lord. Did he surrender his life to the God of god's? I hope I never have doubt of where I'm going when I die. You just never know when that time will be. I'm sure my dad had no idea that the night he left to go play baseball...his life would end in a matter of seconds. Would he have lived his life differently? Would he have loved more? Given more? I hope and pray I get a chance to ask him. What he has given me is the realization to make sure I'm walking humbly with my God. I never want to get to that final moment and say...what if I only...!

Psalm 68:5 (New International Version)

5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.


Karen

Heart Strings or Apron Strings?

My mother in-law use to tell me...When your children are young they pull on your apron strings but when they are old they pull on your heart strings.I never understood what that meant until now. I think I would rather have the apron strings pulled...now if I could just remember that when they are driving me crazy!


Well today was the dreaded long awaited day...baby boy has left the building! For several weeks I have been relishing in every little moment. I knew this day was coming...why did it have to get here so quickly?

Moving day...a day Justin has waited for since he was 10...at least that is what he says. Two hours away...sitting in a two bedroom apartment is my baby boy all alone. A day he has anticipated for several weeks. The ride down began with a speeding ticket...not a way to begin your new life! I was doing ok until I walked into the apartment. At that moment I wanted to scoop him up and go home! Will I ever stop wanting to protect him? I don't think so! He's 24...6'3...275 lbs and I'm wanting to scoop him up?! As much as I want to support him in his dreams...this has been harder than sending him to Africa for 3 months. I have cried all afternoon and I have 8 more kids behind him... 2 of them ready to move out within the next 6 months. Surely this will get easier...surely I want fall apart every time they leave the nest...surely I won't need medication!

As mom I'm always questioning myself...Did I love him enough?....Did I teach him all the things he needs to survive? All I can do is trust that God has equipped him with all that he needs to walk this road of manhood.

As the face of our family changes over the next six months, there will be more moments of longing for the past but hoping for the future. Today the life of our little boy passed before my eyes...a lifetime of love for a young man who introduced me to this awesome road of motherhood at the age of 19. I am so proud to have walked this road with him...and will be forever grateful!

I love you Justin!
Mom

Traditions...they keep them coming home!

Tis the season for family and traditon..Fa...la la la...la la...la...la!

From the very start of our marriage my husband and I have talked about what traditions we would like to experience in our family. Many traditions are handed down from generation to generation and we would love to hand our childhood traditions down to our kids ...and grandchildren.

 Early on in our marriage, my husband and his brothers would go to his moms on Christmas morning for breakfast...tradition. Baking and decorating sugar cookies with my mom and sisters before Christmas...tradition. When our older kids were younger, my sisters and I would make gingerbread houses with them after the Thanksgiving meal...tradition. Christamas day night at my in laws house, gift giving was a blast(50-60 people in one house). Can I say awesome paper fight?!...tradition. Christmas day morning for the past 10 years we have had a HUGE Christmas morning breakfast...tradition. This is one tradition similar to the one my husband experienced with his family.

Whether your traditions last 3 years or 100 years, having something you do as a family on an ongoing basis, can bring a time of bonding among family members that creates memories for your children and grandchildren. I often find my kids will ask if we can do something that they remember doing the year before. Making memories with my kids is so important. It's those memories that they will someday share with my grandchildren...hence the passing down from generation to generation. Traditions bring stability in a family. In a world where families are moving  from place to place, losing jobs and parents divorcing...kids need something that is familar,something that never changes...the simple little things they can count on to always be. Things that bring memories of a better time and place.

We are always trying new traditions... some stay and some go! As the face of my family changes, so will the many traditions we have. However, I know one that will always keep them coming home...that HUGE Christmas morning breakfast!

Tradition:

1 a : an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom) b : a belief or story or a body of beliefs or stories relating to the past that are commonly accepted as historical though not verifiable


2 : the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction

3 : cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions

4 : characteristic manner, method,

~ Bittersweet...A new season of life ~

This past week as I have been trying to focus on being more thankful, but have encountered a few bittersweet moments.

A few days ago I heard my 2 year old tell our oldest son "You don't need to go to work...you have to stay home and watch movies with me." Justin and Mackenzie have a special relationship...our oldest and our youngest (21 years a part). Justin, a couple of months ago, brought home a huge bag of pistachios. He sat down with Mackenzie and taught her how to open them. Wouldn't you know...every time he walks in the door she runs to where the pistachios are stored. I wish you could see his smile when she does this...She adores her brother! Many times he will take the younger girls down stairs to watch movies with him. I think they really look forward to movie time with him...he does too! I love all the memories he is making with his sisters. I pray they will remember each one.



Well the time has come...a time I knew would happen eventually. It just got here way too soon...I blinked too quickly! Justin will be moving out of our home in December. I am excited for him...but sad at the same time! Many tears are flowing at the thought. God is taking our family into a whole new season of life. I hate change and all the adjustment that comes along with it. I am really sad for the younger girls and all they will miss not having Justin around. This change won't end here...We have an older daughter who is getting married in May of 2010. Our other son will be working hard to get through school and making changes also. The next six months are going to be major adjusting for the Holcombe family. Having the extra space is going to be great but very bittersweet. Somebody must have prayed for excitement in their lives!


Having a large family comes with a lot of never ending joy, laughter and tears…this week I‘ll have plenty. As I have watched my oldest with my youngest this past week…my heart has been moved to take the time to cherish every moment. Oh! How I wish I could just prop my eyelids open with toothpicks and focus on being more thankful for the little things in my life!


Webster’s: Bittersweet
1: something that is bittersweet; especially : pleasure alloyed with pain

Karen

Old things grundgy....A Primitive Christmas!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35266617

I have had this one cut out for over a year...talk about procastination! I just love all the prim decor for Christmas time...well anytime for that matter. I am just a lover of old things!  They remind me of a more simpler time when things seemed so less chaotic and more family oriented. I love how the prim decor gives our home a warm and cozy feel and the scents that come along with them...makes me want to spend a day baking something yummy!

My daughter this evening asked me to make one for her...she's getting married in May! That question shook me a little...I have blinked and she will have a home of her own next Christmas! Where has the time gone? I did smile...my love of Prim has been passed down....just like an antique!

You know your a BIG family when....

I was reading this blog today  http://www.4littlemenandgirlytwins.com/2009/11/you-know.html?success . She had the best post!

 Raising a BIG family is not always as chaotic (yes it is !) as people think. I always say there is NEVER a dull moment! The best part is the look on someones face when you tell them how many kids you have....A look of pure horror or A look of true curiosity!  Being a mom to many... I can be my own worst enemy. Picking and choosing my battles can make or break my sanity! The best way to keep that sanity... is to see the humor in all the things that living with many under one roof entails.

I would love to hear your "You know you are a BIG family when" comments!

You know you are a BIG family when....

...Your youth group ask to borrow your family transportation for an outing.
...While at Sams your asked "What company are you buying for?"
...When someone sees you in your 15 passenger van they ask what Day Care you work for.
...1 family pack of meat isn't enough.
...Laundry is never finished.
...You buy appliances yearly.
...The dishwasher runs 3 times a day...hence the yearly appliance replacement!
...You and your husband go grocery shopping for a date.
...The employees at the grocery store think you  are an employee because you are there every other day.
...You inquire about group discounts before a family outing.
...Your asked if this is a family reunion when trying to take a family photo at the local park.
...You have a birthday party once a month.

Psalms 127: 3-5 (New King James)
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Capturing them while they are young!

For a week now I have been telling the kids we are going to attempt take a family picture. It always seems we are never ready no matter how much we prepare for something. Trying to please 11 people in 1 household is crazy an impossible task!

Try as I might...nothing ever turns out the way I picture it in my head. Having a two year old in the mix adds it's own set of trouble. Keeping her clean... Is it nap time? Is she hungry? Is it potty time? Just getting her to cooperate at each click of the camera makes for a time consuming photo session. But when I have to deal with a 2 year old and some of the others who hate getting their picture taken or hate what I have made them wear...this was suppose to be a time of fun and capturing a season in our family...Was it really worth it? Is it wrong of me to want an updated picture of my family together? Why can't my kids just cooperate for just a few minutes? I give them my time when they want something...setting aside my desires to help them achieve their dreams. All I wanted is a few pictures to share with friends and family. All they had to do was smile!

I have come to the conclusion ...I would have to be a total stranger for my kids to GLADLY want to help me do something. They are so quick to run and help others, but when I call with a request they grumble,complain and run in the opposite direction. No...my kids aren't perfect!  But that mother's heart that God put inside of me, helps me to see beyond those things that tug at my heart. As our Children continue to grow and learn about living a surrendered life, I pray my expectations of them don't hinder them from desiring to live a Holy life. God must feel that same disappointment and frustration in me when I don't listen and obey. His Father's heart helps Him to see beyond my disobediance and self centeredness.

Oh Lord! Help me to have your expectations for our children! Please capture their hearts while they are young!

***I do love my children! They do help me a lot....especially with their younger siblings.